Where has she been? What happening. What’s next.
She. Has. Returned. With serious intent. First of all, apologies for the lack of content. Secondly, I didn’t mean to rhyme there. Thirdly, the three-month hiatus from blogging wasn’t intentional, as I’ve been writing consistently over that time. Some pieces I’m incredibly proud of but have not posted. There’s been a significant amount of change in my life, in all aspects, through the first quarter of 2019 (can you believe we’re already three months in? Scary) and that inspired a lot of emotionally charged writing that whilst cathartic, was quite obviously opinionated, heated ranting, no matter how well I had constructed it.
Turning 26 in late January had a pretty profound effect on me. Birthdays usually bring about a fresh perspective after I mull over the events of the 12 months passed but this time it was a smack in the face. A truckload of revelations about people, about my life about goals and everything in between. A lot of that I’m lucky I can confidently talk about in this format and gain clarity, but some of it – the details especially – are better left where they belong, in the past. What becomes frustrating though, is usually after certain events transpire, that’s when you realise everything you should have said because you aren’t this acutely aware of what the reality of the situation was until you stepped away from it. Hindsight is 20/20 they say and that couldn’t be truer. I had written several pieces about my experience but in the end, no matter how hard I tried, they were all too obvious. After therapeutic sessions, consulting my three best girlfriends about it, each of them had the same thing to say – they’re not worth that energy and that recognition. Onward.
‘The Importance of letting things go’ was a working title I had. But in summary – “Hey, this is using up too much of your time – let it go.” Since having achieved that, I got real busy living a more positively influenced life surrounded by the people who are supposed to be in it and I think after turning 26, I was more aware of who feeds good energy and who is draining me. The older you get, you just become a better and better bullshit detector. There are those who practice what they preach and there are those that just love the sound of their own voice. The ones who project their own issues onto you and pass it off as genuine concern in a manipulative manner that takes you a while to see it’s not friendly, it’s mean. It’s called gaslighting. And when you don’t realise until several weeks after the fact that it’s been going on for months and months, it can be frustrating, but also liberating. Like “Ohhhhh. Yeah, I see what you’ve been doing to me. Cool. This is good for both of us. Bye.” Unfortunately, few have that self-awareness but as long as you do, chalk up a little W in your column. Self-growth baby girl, onward.
So I turned 26, I cried a little bit about that as life just seems to be moving way too fast. But by February 1st I had dusted myself off and got BUSY, girl. I’ll be the first to admit that in my attempts to be the supportive friend I am, I have used the phrase “focus on you right now” many times. But have never really done that for me. 26 is the “me” year and I can honestly say, from the bottom of my heart, I have never been so clear-headed or focused on my goals. Which I can already tell will be the difference this time in actually achieving them by the time 2020 rolls around. One of those goals is health and fitness. Since retiring from Netball (bad knee) I’ve been a bit lost in what kind of fitness goals I can really sink my teeth into. What am I truly trying to achieve that isn’t just confidently looking great in a dress? While that can be motivation enough for some, it wasn’t until recently I realised I needed to feed off that competitive streak within me and replace Netball with something that lights that fire to get better every day, the way the game I loved as a teenager used to. For now, I’m preparing for just that. Every morning I wake up, take a shot of apple cider vinegar and swim 1.5 kilometres. I come home and go about my day but by the afternoon I’m in the gym either boxing, doing a class or going through a thoroughly regimented program with one of my best girlfriends. Come to think of it, I really should start paying her as the proper PT she is, because twice a week she kicks my ass and in the 2 months we’ve been training together, I’ve seen drastic improvements in not only my body’s appearance but my mental and physical health. She shows up, puts me through the wringer, without fail and we high five after, both pretty proud of ourselves. I absolutely have her to thank for changing my attitude towards fitness. It’s not a chore for me now, its “We’re about to fuck shit up, girl gang. Get IT.” I enjoy working out and testing my body to its limit these days and it’s so motivating and inspiring to be around those kinds of people. Find yourself some. Your life will improve dramatically. Onward.
My end goals in terms of fitness are as follows. 1. I’ve got a very expensive, luxury label dress I want to look bomb AF in. 2. Get back into a competitive sport – training Mixed Martial Arts. Namely, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and Boxing (no, not Boxercise classes, I mean proper technique and working towards becoming a pretty lethal striker. You know, it’s a scary world and also… it’s badass and it’s fun.) When I was in high school, every Wednesday we had to spend the middle two periods off-campus participating in a sport. Me and my two best friends at the time spent every term going back to the Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) gym. We’d do mostly Jiu Jistu and Boxing based training and I’m pretty sure it was the combination of acquiring valuable self-defence skills, both in our ground game and in a striking format, getting stronger and more confident and the hot Black Belt Coach that made it so addictive. So that’s what I’m now working towards. Improving my fitness to a point I can confidently walk back into an MMA gym and dedicate myself to learning and practising the arts of BJJ and Boxing. I once heard an MMA coach I admire say “My daughter will learn all the skills she needs, that if she ever found herself in a situation where she had no choice, she’ll know how to kill a man by the time she’s old enough to date one.” Preach brother. Here’s to raising fighters. Side note: Put your kids in Jiu-Jitsu… immediately. Onward.
So while you’re busy worrying about you baby, getting fitter and stronger, looking sexier, dedicating all your time to yourself (which isn’t at all selfish, its survival) the universe has this beautiful way of sending you the things you have been hoping for, the very second you stop trying so hard and start focusing on what’s important. You’re out here working away, solely worried about being a better you and then BANG! My child, you’re ready is what I imagine Morgan Freeman – the narrator of my life – is saying. True story. This month saw my stock go up! And by that, I mean I’ve had double the hits on Noir et Blanc than usual. Exciting. I’ve accepted a new position at a firm in town. Exciting. Both affording me the ability to go to London, adventuring around Europe as I had planned, to start creating the kind of content that I envisioned when starting Noir et Blanc in the first place. Double-exciting! Can’t wait to collaborate with talented photographers and videographers and LIGHT SHIT UP! I have an abundance of creative ideas for shoots in various cities to compliment my writing both here and on the ‘gram that is difficult to cultivate in my current location. But mark my words, when this storm hits the big city, it’s about to get REAL good, gang. Can’t wait. There’s a new direction in aesthetic I’m moving in for Noir et Blanc and it’s giving me goosebumps. My soon-to-be-professional-PT friend started her own fitness page as well which makes me so happy. If you follow my Instagram you can find her there. And for me, it’s especially cool to have someone to talk about branding and blogging with and to watch that blow-up. In the spirit of International Women’s Day, the rest of my gang are raising daughters, teaching our youth, learning to ride motorcycles, moving on up in the workplace and all round just being the most inspiring tribe to spend time with. I’m beyond proud of each and every one of them for how uniquely gifted they are in their own ways, how great and supportive they are as friends and what they each bring to the table as powerful individuals who are just badass. I made a very specific post about this not long ago, a clip I found of Joe Rogan. If you haven’t seen that on my Instagram yet, I’ll link it here. I highly recommend taking the time to watch.
So I guess the premise of this post is that Hi, we’re only getting started. I’ve got great content planned in the year ahead, its only a matter of timing and execution. More frequent blogging coming your way – more pieces about relationships and human connection, but also following more into my first love: travel-inspired pieces, despite the long layover between overseas trips. No matter, the next is not far off. I’m in no way a fitness blogger either, but if a more in-depth post about my current routine and MMA focused fitness is of interest to you, you know where to request! No, it will not feature photos of me in a sports bra nor will it fall under #GymsharkAthlete. Though Gymshark, if you do wanna sponsor me, hit me up, baby. I’ll happily sell out. Hit that contact page, email me and let me know. I love reading your messages. Other than that, I feel stronger, I feel more positive than ever that I’m working towards big things. I can’t stress enough how much a little spring clean in your life will result in less cluttered thoughts, clearer vision and the time to productively spend on your goals. When you’re busy in your own lane, focused on what is ahead of you and surrounded by a loyal legion of encouraging women, you start to see that path open up wider and wider with less in your way. I have made the choice to take chances and that has resulted in some pretty amazing life changes so far. Games and homemade pizza this Saturday night with the whole family. Have a great weekend, Gang. Onward.
Oh and to all the bright girls reading, Happy IWD and stay hustling baby.