Life

Men Tell All.

30 Women, 30 Questions, 3 Categories. 13 Men… Answer all.

I put up a post on Instagram asking all the women who followed me to submit questions that men, anonymous to them, could answer honestly. I encouraged everyone to think about their own experiences and ask accordingly so that my panel of men could actually give them something useful to their own lives and situations.  I picked the best questions and sent them to my 13 Anonymous, gorgeous men. You may choose to read it all, you may choose to find the category that relates to you the most. But either way, grab a snack, grab a drink, find your blankie and curl up, this one goes long and deep…

fullsizeoutput_19bb.jpeg
Sexual puns absolutely intended.

Meet the panel:

  • *Daddy – (Yes, he requested this be his Alias name.) Young new Dad, certified DILF, covered in Tattoos, heart of gold. Basically, porn for women.
  • *Jack – Young sports reporter, currently in a long-distance relationship, cute as a button.
  • *Anthony – Divorced. Currently in a new long term relationship. Famous.
  • *Jim – In the military. Very happily married, super in love with his wife, a real-life Nicholas Sparks movie.
  • *Sonny – Young, hot, single and very self-aware. The guy you go to when you’d need “man advice.”
  • *Dean – Definite bad boy who’s very intelligent and experienced. Dangerous – to the point he scares me a little bit. Sexy AF and your new internet boyfriend. We stan.
  • *Michael – Mr Missionary. Sweet, intimate and refreshingly honest.
  • *Jaryd – Handsome single Dad of two teens. Divorced. Short, sharp and to the point.
  • *John – Hot Californian bodybuilder. A large man who is low-key into being submissive.
  • *James – Married, the non-boring kind, a bit of an exhibitionist.
  • *Harry – Dark Horse. I actually have no idea who he is. A complete stranger decided to trust me and do this. I love the internet.
  • *Ryan – Mr Relationship. Wears his heart on his sleeve and is very excited for me to upload this post. Ladies, DM your numbers.
  • *Lachlan – The only person I’ve ever heard say they actually enjoy shower sex… Is he part merman? Who knows. Also, the only man who used the term “soul mate.” So…. a dreamboat for all you fairytale bitches.

 

fullsizeoutput_197b

 

Category 1 – Relationships


1. What is the longest relationship you’ve ever had?

*Jack – “4 Years.”
*Daddy – “3 Years roughly.”
*Anthony – “Married for 5 years, almost to the day.”
*Jim – “6 Years.”
*Sonny – “On and off for 4 years.”
*Michael – “Not very long. Looking back they’ve run 9-12 months.”
*Jaryd – “19 years together, 16 of those married.”
*John – “3 years.”
*Ryan – “5 Years.”
* James – “6 years.”
*Harry – “7-9 months.”
*Dean – “11 months. She left the state. I didn’t drive her out, I swear.” – LOL.
*Lachlan – “8 years.”

**I think we can probably all quit reciting the narrative that men are afraid of commitment, right ladies?

2. Have you ever cheated/been cheated on? Please answer both and detail why you think this happened?
*Daddy – “Both. I think it’s easier when things aren’t going right to look for something exciting, fun and naughty rather than fixing it and being thankful for what you have.”
*Anthony – “In my teens and early college years, I was cheated on a lot. Maybe I was too timid. I did cheat once… I was in a depression spiral and one woman started showing me positive attention. It led to sex. The original relationship did continue after that and I never spoke to the other woman again.”
*Jaryd – “Never cheated but I have been cheated on by my ex-wife. Never got a reason other than she fell out of love.”
*John – “I have never cheated and I don’t believe I’ve been cheated on.”
*Jack – “I have never cheated but I suspect I have been cheated on in a previous relationship. I think she lost respect for me but didn’t want the discomfort of ending things.” **I found this particularly interesting. That although never given a solid reason, Jack was willing to take the time to reflect on himself in the relationship leading up to that point to try and understand why she cheated. 
*Ryan – “I’ve been cheated on. We moved interstate and I was coming up a few days after her. Surprised her a day early, walked in and found another guy in the house. She confessed and I took the next flight home!”
*Jim – “I’ve been cheated on multiple times. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life and I let it ruin me in many ways, more than I should have.”
*Sonny – “Yes I have cheated once. Never thought I was capable of it. I got caught up in the moment and couldn’t stop from there. It was a weird feeling, like being the passenger to my own primal instincts. It happened with someone I had a lot of history with too. Now, I don’t let myself get into situations where it’s toeing the line. I have also been cheated on. I think it happened because she was unhappy with herself and very insecure. Nothing I said could change that and she gained different attention from someone else that made her feel better momentarily.” **I am going to jump in and defend Sonny here because I can see this being interpreted as a self-serving response, but I think I can speak on behalf of a lot of women when I say I have had moments in a relationship, I have gone looking for attention and validation elsewhere. There was an issue with the way I saw myself, and the love my partner had for me wasn’t going to change that. Mind you neither did the affection of others.
*Michael – “I made out with an old girlfriend on the way home after a concert once. It was only one time. I have been cheated on. I’ve learned that I exhibit codependent behaviour and it’s difficult for me to have a healthy relationship. Looking back it seems that I place my self-worth on what it is I can do for someone else rather than just being me. I think I have abandonment issues and with those codependency issues, I placed too much of my happiness onto the girl I was with. I never intended to, but it came across as controlling and needy. No girl wants that.” **Wow. I had no idea what I was going to end up with when I decided to do this “Men tell-all” blog. But the fact I found such emotionally connected men willing to put their insecurities and demons on display for the world has blown me away. Don’t ever tell me Men don’t have hearts.
*Lachlan – “When I was 18, my girlfriend cheated on me with her friend.”
* James – “I have never cheated. I have been cheated on. I think that taught me the angst and hurt it causes and made me promise not to hurt someone by doing it to them. Break up and move on. You can’t come back from cheating.”
*Harry – “Never and never.”
*Dean – “Neither to both.” – **Well, of course Dean hasn’t been cheated on. He’s a walking romance novel. He may exhibit questionable and at times dangerous behaviour but the bad boy is a good man. Swoon.

Who-Plays-Hardin-Scott-After-Movie.jpg
**Dean, but not actually Dean. But pretty close. You get me.

3.   “Women are emotionally tougher than men.” Do you agree or disagree with this comment?
*Daddy – “Girls are a lot stronger emotionally, more than men. Men don’t want to be seen as weak which actually makes them weaker.”
*Anthony – “No. All genders are emotional. Men are taught socially to hide it, that we don’t have emotion and that’s unhealthy.”
*Jaryd – “I think a large portion of women are and the reason I believe this is because they are better compartmentalizing things.”
*John – “I can see how that comment would be true. From an early age we {men} are taught that emotions are a bad thing, so maybe we never fully develop emotionally the way women do.”
*Jim – “I think women are more emotionally available than men. That would probably lead them to be more emotionally stronger, more in touch with their feelings.”
*Michael – “I might say yes to this. I think it goes back to the learned perceptions of the roles that men and women have played.”
*Sonny – “I definitely agree. I think women can juggle more and handle things better. For example, a breakup – a woman is hurt, grieves and goes through the motions and can get back on the horse. Men just get hurt and put up a wall that is almost impossible to take down. Also, when men get sick we turn into babies. Women just keep on going.”
*James – “For sure. The women I work with have to be tough in a man’s world (and the actual world too, which is also a man’s world) **The feminist hero we all deserve.
*
Jack – “I wouldn’t agree. I think it’s more acceptable for women to be emotionally open and men are derided when they’re emotional. If anything I think it’s tougher to be unable to express your emotions and keep going.”
*Ryan – “Yes I do agree. I believe women have a lot more on their plate and hold their emotions in check with the day to day tasks women have to endure. I feel like with men, our emotions get the better of us.”
*Lachlan – “They can be tougher but also weaker. The reason I think this is because I feel like they give everything and dedicate a lot of emotional energy in a relationship. Its harder for them to forget how someone made them feel.”
*Harry – Did not answer.
*Dean –
“I don’t know. I think it depends on the person and the situation. I can’t really answer this.”

4. Do you agree that relationships are hard to keep going these days? If so, what do you attribute this to?
*Daddy – “I think it’s harder these days than 30 years ago! Back in the day, you recycled and if it was broken, you’d try and piece it back together and fix it. Nowadays, you throw it out and replace it.”
*Anthony –
 “I think it seems harder, but also the failures are far more public than they used to be. I think the constant barrage of social media updates brings it to the forefront more than it used to. As for who or what is to blame, we are. We don’t fight for it, or we are too selfish or we won’t grow alongside a partner. When the relationship fails we either learn from it or we repeat the same behaviour.”
*Jaryd – “After 7 years of being divorced, I think they are more difficult. I think most people have been hurt so bad, they are unwilling to let the walls down to try again.”
*John – “I don’t know if they’re harder to keep going, I think it’s just easier to quit. We have too many options” **GREAT distinction.
*Jack – “It’s a hard choice to choose just one person and still try and keep yourself. I think people have become so selfish and there’s such a premium on “doing you” that it has caused people to see relationships as an evil that will only hurt you rather than something can enrich your life, growing with another person.”
*Ryan – “Yes and feel like social media play a huge part in that because of how much it easier it is for people to snoop around.”
*Jim – “I think they’ve always been hard. Its a lot of work and you never stop. The night before my wife and I got married, my mother told me a long but sweet story where the morale was “never stop learning about each other.”
*Sonny – “I think they are hard if you’re with the wrong person. I think the lack of communication and social media play a big part in it all.”
*Michael – “With so much going on, you have to make choices. It seems as though we aren’t happy unless we’re being entertained, distracted in a sense from “real life.” Technology has in some ways brought us closer together but has also caused a disconnection.”
*Lachlan – “I agree, more distractions with technology and leading busier and active lives. Even though obstacles are there, when you want to make it work, you will do everything in your power to do so.” **Ladies, we’re all glad someone said it. Collectively, breathe a sigh of relief.
*James – “I don’t think relationships are any easier or harder than they have been previously. People are busy and relationships need constant nurturing, especially at the start and when things get rocky. People forget the good thing they had going in the first place.”
*Harry – “If you have a strong understanding of each other and truly love each other
you can hold onto a relationship. Again, social media – there’s too much temptation with dating apps.”
*Dean – “Relationships are hard for a number of reasons. I think this generation could be a little more immature than previous generations. People want to travel and not settle until they are older. People are hooked on video games or concerned about their careers. Women are more educated and successful now (than in previous generations is what I think Dean means to say. Women are wanting more from life than just a husband and kids) Plus so many people, mainly men just want to fuck.”

5. Now you will play Love Doctor for one moment. One of my readers has submitted a scenario she would like you to comment on. Please provide your honest opinion.  “I can’t seem to get men to like me for more than 2-3 weeks. I’m not up myself but I do consider myself to be attractive and so I do often meet people, at a bar or on Tinder. Usually what happens is, he’s crazy into me straight away, we get along so well, it’s sexy and it’s fun. I never sleep with them straight up, I do wait for a couple dates first and play a little hard to get and he’s always texting and calling. Then suddenly he’s very selective about when he wants to give me his time. Suddenly he’s taking forever to text. Suddenly I’m always texting him and I’m getting very minimal effort. This happens each time. What is going on?”
*Daddy – “
My advice would be to take a break from trying to date for a bit learn to love yourself. Who knows something might fall into your lap! I feel if you keep going on dates, you’re only going to meet guys for sex! For guys, the chase is better than the feast.” **Oh… great.
*
Anthony – “I think it’s because the only thing you know you have in common with the person is “I’m hot, you’re hot, we wanna rub naughty bits together.” **LOL Online dating sites prey on the instant attraction and don’t focus on the root of a real relationship.  I’ve noticed that the internet, in general, has an “I want it now” mentality and if we don’t get it instantly, then we don’t want it.  In relationships, it just doesn’t work that way.
*Jack – “You play hard to get and then get mad when he starts playing back? Doesn’t sound very fair to me.”
*Jim – You’re dating the wrong guys. If you’re looking for a relationship, find someone that’s looking for the same. You know what you want, but you’re accepting less than that.”
*Jaryd – “It’s the trust and walls. She should stop with the ‘hard to get’ act and just be real. Also the dating app availability. It’s easy to move on to the next when you’re afraid you could be missing out on something better.”
*John – “If a guy stops calling you after you’ve slept with them, then all he wanted you for was sex. He got what he wanted so now he’s a ghost.”
*Ryan – “I feel like the guy has lost interest if he’s being selective with his time, there must be another interest.”
*Sonny – “Maybe they like the chase and playing hard to get but once they have you, it’s no longer fun for them.  Try to be aware of these red flags and avoid getting involved with men who demonstrate these toxic traits.”
*Michael – “Know your audience. Know what you want going in. You’re trusting that everyone is going to play by the rules.”
*Lachlan – “I think women can easily find a reason why she will stop talking to a guy, perhaps something she noticed, saw or heard. In all honesty, sometimes we just lose interest and at at times we have no specific reason why. It’s complicated, but it happens.”
*James – “I think 2-3 weeks is too soon to be leaping into something so serious as an exclusive relatiosnhip – I doubt that’s what he thought he was signing up for. She does sound unhappy within herself. Enjoy your own company, focus on work or something else and let someone come into your life a little more naturally.”
*Harry – Did not answer
*
Dean – “Sounds like they don’t want commitment. I would delay any sexual acts for a while and establish what they want. If they are pushing for sex, that’s a red flag right away.”

6. What are your thoughts on long-distance? Can it work?
*Daddy – 
“100% if both parties are willing.”
*Anthony – “I had a LDR that lasted 3-4 years. We basically saw each other once a year and only for a few days. The rest was online messaging and handwritten letters. In the end, it didn’t work but god damn it, we tried.” **How does this even happen? I have so many questions…
*Jaryd – “I’ve tried and it didn’t work. With my schedule and kids, it just doesn’t work.”
*John – “With today’s technology and how inexpensive it is to travel now, I believe it can work.”
*Jack – “I hope so. I’m in one! I think it requires great communication, trust and a timeline on when you’re going to close that distance.”
*Ryan – Did not answer
*
Jim – “My wife and I are both in the military and have been geographically separated by thousands of miles for almost two years. It’s the hardest fucking thing to go through but it isn’t impossible. We fly to see each other for a few days, once a month and hopefully, soon are going to be under one roof. It takes more patience and trust than I think most people are ready for, but we’ve made it work.” **Not a Nicholas Sparks novel, this is a real fucking man. I want all the awards for this blog.
*Sonny – “I think long distance is for some, not all. I think physicality in a relationship is important. I personally would not be in one unless I met someone who made me feel like nobody ever has before.”
*Lachlan – “Yes it can but it’s not easy. I was in a LDR for a year and then moved in with her, we were together for 3 years.”
*James – “These days with remote vibrators and easier video calling, the intimacy can somewhat still be there but also is the deeper connection there too? Is there a good reason you’re not physically together? Is there an end goal where you will be living together eventually?”
*Harry – “One of my relatives was in a LDR. Met in Thailand, he is from the UK, she is from Russia. Now happily married (13 years) with a daughter. I believe if you truly love them, it can work. Watch a Netflix series together, sexting and naughty Skype sessions.”
*Dean – “It can but not for a long time. I think the relationship needs to be already well established, years, but otherwise, I don’t think it can work.”

7. Have you ever met someone on Tinder? What came of that?
*Dean – 
“No never.”
*Harry – “No I don’t do dating apps. I’m old school.”
*James – “No.”
*Lachlan – “I have once. We were compatible online, but it wasn’t a great first meeting.”
*Michael – “I’ve never used it.”
*Sonny – “Nope. Never had much luck on those apps. But I also think it’s shallow.”
*Jim – “Dating apps never worked for me, but I do know people it has worked for and they are happily married.”
*Ryan – Did not answer
*Jack – “I have, we hooked up for a few months and it was fun.”
*John – “I have yet to use Tinder.”
*Jaryd – “I have had a Tinder date. It went well, but I never heard from her again.” **Guess it didn’t go that well…
*Anthony – “I tried Tinder, the only time I made a connection was with a couple who wanted to cuckold. I didn’t do it.” **Would have been a way better story if you did though 😉
*Daddy – “I haven’t met anyone for anything other than a date or sex from Tinder.”

**Remeber when I said you should definitely be using Tinder as one way to meet people? Maybe don’t do that…

8. Would you ever get married? Why/Why Not?
*Daddy – “Definitely. But I only want to do it once so I want to get it right.”
*Anthony – “Been there. Would I do it again? It would have to be REALLY special.”
*Jaryd – “Up until last year I would have said no. But now, if the right person came along, I would.”
*John – “If you asked me this when I was younger, I would have said I’ll never get married. Now I think for me, it’s the ultimate goal.  Would love to meet someone that made me want to spend the rest of my life with them.”
*Jack – “I would love to get married.”
*Ryan – “For sure!”
*Jim – “I’m married to the love of my life.”
*Sonny – “I want to get married and be settled down and do the soccer practice.”
*Lachlan – “Yes I would. I still have hope my soul mate exists out there somewhere.”
*James – “Yes. I am married.”
*Harry – Probably yes at a certain time when I have a better job and pay so I can look after my wife with no stress.” **We Stan.
*Dean –
 “I would like to because I think when I’m older I’ll want to settle down and have kids and a family and not still be chasing women.”

images
*Michael – “I would love to get married but I still need to work on me so that I can be as healthy of a partner as I can be.”

** Honestly, I did not expect this. I expected a few men to shit all over the idea of marriage. Particularly Jaryd given what he’s been through and Dean… the Dean I’m getting to know is a very dark young man who actively chooses to participate in some pretty fucked up shit. He’s a protective and possessive man though, so maybe picturing him as a husband and father isn’t too off-brand. But here we are… ALL 13 men love the idea of marriage. For me, personally, that is one of the most interesting things to come of this experiment. 

9. More people are having children together and not getting married. Is the commitment of being with one person forever a more intimidating idea than that of raising a child?
*Dean
– “I don’t understand that logic. Are they afraid of divorce?”
*Harry – Did not answer.
*
James – “I don’t know about this. Sounds like a line to hook women.” **Not wanting to get married to hook women? Doubtful.
*Lachlan – “My guess is that they don’t want to be exclusive, but they still want children? if I cared enough for a woman to have children with her, I’d want to marry her.”
*Michael – “While both are huge responsibilities, I’ve never seen the idea of committing to one person as a burden. I see it as a privilege.” **Is Michael our favourite man yet? Ladies, step forward.
*
Sonny – “Sometimes, having an easy exit makes people feel comforted. I’ve never subscribed to the whole idea of being in love and having children but not being married.”
*Jim – “Society might be moving past the idea of marriage. It’s not for everyone and for some people, marriage might just seem too final. I don’t think its a matter of one being more important than the other.”
*Ryan – Did not answer
*
Jack – “I meet more and more women who are absolutely terrified of the pressure of commitment of relationships, let alone marriage. I think having a kid without marriage allows women to satisfy the biological clock that’s ticking while still providing them with the independence of “having an out” if things go south.”
*John –
 “Yes. The commitment of being with one person forever is more intimidating.”
*Jaryd – “I don’t understand this mentality.”
*Anthony – “More of my friends are the opposite. They’re getting married and not having kids.”
*Daddy – “I honestly think that having a kid these days is easier than marrying someone. There are more and more step parents these days and some of them are doing a great job. Having a young kid myself, the love I have for him tops the love I would have for another person. He is my priority.”

10. What makes you fall in love? What does she have that makes her stand out above the rest?
*Daddy – 
“A beautiful smile and a personality that is like no other. Someone that makes me laugh. Most of all, someone who makes the effort because I’m the kind of guy who only gives the effort I receive. I’ve been the guy who tries so hard and gets nowhere.”
*Anthony – “If she’s willing to put up with the fact I work so much and support me without making me feel guilty about it, that’s a HUGE step. So I guess I really need patience.”
*Jaryd – “Chemistry is vital. Lots of communication and understanding.”
*John – “I love a woman with a big heart who can make me laugh. I need a strong woman who has no problem showing appreciation, affection. Someone who is close to their family too.”
*Jack – “My ideal woman is kind, strong and an equal partner. Someone who knows when to compromise and when to stand her ground. Someone who has my back like I have hers. Oh, and dynamite in the sake wouldn’t hurt.”
*Ryan – “Someone I can laugh with and doesn’t take life to seriously. Looks aren’t what makes me fall in love.”
*Jim – “Intelligent, fierce, strong and independent. Calls you on your bullshit. Comfortable in front of you 24/7.”
*Sonny – “There’s no rhyme or reason. Some things just click and it doesn’t always make sense.”
*Michael – “Put simply, she just has ‘it.’ She makes everything better.”
*Lachlan – “How she looks at me, how she talks to me, the little details. Her interactions with her family and friends also tell me a lot about how she would be with me.”
*James – “Confidence, is into me and enjoyable to be around.”
*Harry – “Beautiful, good personality, respectful, out-going, has things in common with me. Big bonus if she’s a foodie!”
*Dean – “Personality, similar interests, good body, preferably curves.”

Category 2 – Sex

SexDiscussion-672x372
Woooooof. Buckle up.

1. What physical attributes in a woman do you find most sexually pleasing? How much importance do you place on physical appearance? Skinny/big girls?
*Daddy – 
“I’m very drawn to facial features. Physical appearance is important but if she has a beautiful face, nothing else matters. I would say though that I shy away from giving a bigger girl the opportunity for anything.”
*Anthony – “I am a sucker for light coloured eyes. I’d like to say physical appearance isn’t important but there has to be some level of physical attraction. My current partner is a bigger girl and I have dated skinny girls so I guess I run the spectrum?”
*Jaryd – “I prefer fit women. Height/weight proportionate and active. Physical attraction is important to me. Super skinny or really big is not my thing.”
*John – “I love a woman’s eyes. If she has amazing eyes, I’d be attracted no matter what size she is. But I will admit I prefer dating someone who is physically active.”
*Jack – “I do find myself predominately with skinny girls. Honestly, the face is the most important part for me, the body is secondary. ”
*Ryan – “An hourglass figure wins me over every time.”
*Sonny – “I love a big butt. Boobs are a close second. But if you don’t have a cute face, I am out. I don’t mind chubby but it’s not my preference. The face is the biggest thing.”
*Jim – “Petite and curvy. Obese or extremely skinny is out of the equation for me. Not my thing.”
*Michael – “Her eyes. The woman I want now would be considered “full-figured” but it doesn’t matter. I also have a thing for women’s feet. The visual turns me on. Hard to explain but it’s something I notice on every woman I meet.”
*Lachlan – “Eyes, smile, hair, legs… If asked whether I’m boobs or ass, its ass.”
*James – “Skinny girls are a bit of a turn-off, but it’s more so girls who don’t eat. Unhealthily big girls are also a turnoff.” **James gave a very in-depth response about the importance of having confidence etc rather what he physically finds attractive. Brought a tear to my eye really…I may use it in another blog if he lets me.
*Harry – “Blonde/red-head girls. Skinny and sometimes curvy.”
*Dean – “I place a lot on physical appearance, but if she has a bad personality that is a major turn off. I do prefer curvier women. Ass and thighs. I get a lot of satisfaction from playing with a girls ass. Skinny girls are also hot, I just really prefer curves. I don’t care for huge breasts. If you have them, great but otherwise I don’t care.”

2. In what is considered “normal” acts when having sex, what turns you on the most?
*Dean –
 “I am not the right person to answer this as I have done a lot of abnormal shit. But oral sex, rough sex – pulling hair, slapping ass and breast, choking. Outdoor sex is hot AF. In the woods where another couple watched was my best outdoor experience.”
*Harry – “A Striptease in her lingerie. My ex would do this and not let me touch while she gave me a lap dance.”
*James – “Voicing pleasure, telling me what works, taking early control is a big turn on.”
*Lachlan – “Lots of kissing and foreplay drive me crazy. Oral sex (both ways) shower sex is a big turn on.” **He is a merman. I’m convinced.
*Michael – “I’m very tuned into touching. I’m very visual too, I want to see what she’s feeling. I also like it when she’s vocal – not over the top. But the panting, the breathing of sex.”
*Jim – “Whatever a couple is comfortable with. Oral, vaginal intercourse, anal sex – those are normal to me.”
*Sonny – “Kissing on my neck is a big turn on for me. A girl taking a little initiative and when she says “don’t stop, keep going” when she’s close.”
*Ryan – “Missionary, on top, doggy style – I’m a sucker for a slow build-up too. Lots of kissing, touching usually turns me on.”
*Jack – “I like lots of talk and foreplay. I’m a pretty chatty person, I find its weird when it’s silent.” **Exactly what conversations are you having Jack? LOL.
*John – “What turns me on the most is when a woman is enjoying herself. Knowing she wants me sexually is everything.”
*Jaryd – “Foreplay and kissing. Knowing she’s as into me as I am into her.”
*Anthony – “Giving oral. I fucking love it. Hearing the audible sounds of my partner feeling pleasure is a huge turn on.”
*Daddy – “I’m a massive lover of foreplay.”

**Read all these answers again and then read *Dean’s LOL. I died laughing.

3. Outside what is considered “normal” by society, what are your wildest fantasies and have they been fulfilled?
*Anthony – 
“I guess so, I’ve done some pretty wild things in my time.”
*Jaryd – “I like light BDSM. I’ve done light bondage, spanking, blindfolding, use of toys.”
*John – “One of my fantasies is to be someone’s sex slave. I could really get into that one.”
*Sonny – “Honestly, I don’t know if I have wild fantasies. Like I enjoy sex in public/exhibitionist sex. I’m not overly kinky.”
*Jack – “As stock as it seems, threesomes and group sex definitely excite me and my one experience with it was really fun! I also enjoy some light bondage play as well.”
*Ryan – Did not answer
*Jim – “My wildest fantasy was eating a girl’s ass and pussy while she sucked my dick. Probably tame but it’s been fulfilled!”
*Michael – “This isn’t something I’ve really explored. I’m not all that creative. The idea of being with two women is a cliche fantasy but that’s one. Playing a dominant role would be an interesting exercise, but none of these I have experienced.”
*Lachlan – “In all honesty, I am not a wild fantasy type. When I was younger I thought sex in a public place would be hotter than it actually was, but I was terrified!”
*James – “Threesome, done. Public sex, done. Skinny dipping and sex on the beach, done. Sex at someone’s wedding, done.”
*Harry – “I don’t have any wild fantasies. I do like the occasional role-play.”
*Dean – “I’ve had a threesome twice with another guy and a girl. I felt like I had to compete with him for her and that was hot. She made us arm wrestle and then jacked us off at the same time. I’ve also had my ass fingered while I came in the shower. Did knife play once that escalated from when I was gutting a fish. It was intense holding a knife to her breasts and after I was so shocked and never tried it again. I lost my virginity at 18 to an older woman.” **Perhaps we need to interview Dean for his own piece and get to know more about what sort of unique journey this man has had throughout his life. Fascinated. With a massive warning label of course… R18+
*Daddy – “Wildest fantasy would be where you are both so into it that you don’t know where on their body you are kissing. It is deep, hard, sweating and sensual where nothing is left in the tank. I have not yet had this.”

943329da50c5c066bef639d0ebdcd9fb793cc535737adf4b88347da9826e846b.jpg

4. How often do you masturbate and do you like to watch women do it?
*Daddy – 
“I would masturbate 2-3 times a week. I don’t really get anything out of a woman masturbating, so I don’t like it but I don’t dislike it.”
*Anthony – “I’d say 3-4 times a week. Yes, I do. My current partner and I have done it together, watching.”
*Jaryd – “When in a relationship, there’s never been a need to. But when I’m not, I do. When with a partner I like to watch and help her.”
*John – “If in a relationship, on occasion. Yes! I love to watch and I love helping. Such a turn on when a woman is open about masturbation.”
*Jack – “Usually once a day. Helps relax me. I love watching women masturbate. I’ve been in a few long-distance relationships too, it’s fun to watch via video chat.”
*Ryan – “3-4 Times a week. It heightens the mood if you see them masturbating.”
*Sonny – “Too much. At least 5 days a week, sometimes multiple times. I’ve watched but I’m typically going to want to engage. I’d rather help out.”
*Jim – “At least once per day. Watching isn’t really my thing, but I mean… I’d watch it.”
*Michael – “There are stretches of days where I cannot get out of bed without it. I do like when women do it and I do like watching.”
*Lachlan – “2-3 times per week. I do like when women do it and if she gets off watching me I also find that very hot.”
*James – “Probably 2-3 times per week. I don’t like to watch live per se unless I’m participating. For porn it’s different.”
*Harry – “Twice in 5 days. Depending on how I’m feeling. I like watching girls. Turns me on.”
*Dean – “Masturbate every day. Recorded my number of 9 in a day online. I’ve watched hundreds of women do it, whether it’s uploaded videos or Skype sessions. I got pretty addicted, I love watching their thighs quivering, seeing facial expressions, watching muscles tense.”

5. On a scale of 1-10, how important of a fundamental do you think sex is in a relationship?
*Dean – 
“It’s not the most important thing, but it’s up there. I’d say 7-8.”
*Harry – “Definitely a 10. Sex is the best feeling ever, especially when you’re in love.”
*James – “8.5.”
*Lachlan – “8, very important.”
*Michael – “I think about it as a stool. If a stool has one of its legs broken, it throws things off balance. I think Physical connection and sex are important, I give it at least a 4.” **Your score and words do not match, young sir.
*Jim – “10. You need sexual compatibility with your partner.”
*Sonny – “9. I originally put 10 but I don’t know if its everything. I think sex and chemistry is the glue that holds everything else together.”
*Ryan – “A strong 8. My last relationship fell apart from this. (A lack of sex.)
*Jack – “Probably a 7. I know if my sex drive is failing in a relationship, it means I am losing interest.”
*John – “Hard to place a number on the scale but it’s pretty important. Sex builds intimacy. I wouldn’t say its a 9 or 10 though.”
*Jaryd – “Sex is important in any relationship. I’d say 7-8.”
*Anthony – “It’s important but it’s not the priority. However, my ex-wife and I were sexless for just over three years and I don’t doubt for a moment it  led to the divorce.” **Jesus Christ. Three years? How do you even survive for 3 months?!
*Daddy –
 “Sex rules everything. It makes you feel good and you can make love to someone and it fixes everything. Love each other, have sex. Angry at each other, have sex.” **Yep, he’s a male. LOL.

6. Do you watch porn and do you notice a difference with women who do vs women who don’t?
*Daddy – 
“I don’t really watch it. I use to when I was younger but I feel when you have something and the sex you have in everyday life isn’t the same as what you see in porn, you kind of feel like you’re missing out and it’s not good for your mental state. Have always wanted to make porn though.”
*Anthony – “Yes I do. Women I have dated who have watched it were open to trying new ideas or scenes we’d watch together.”
*Jaryd – “I haven’t experienced any increase in satisfaction levels from porn.”
*John – “Yes I do and I love when women do as well. In my experience, women who watch it from time to time are definitely more sexually adventurous.”
*Jack – “I do. I have found it’s a double-edged sword. The women I’ve been with who watched it were more sexually adventurous but also more full of self-doubt and concerned they weren’t “pleasing me” correctly. Which is silly!”
*Ryan – “Yes but to be honest, I don’t watch anything out of the ordinary as I feel it takes away from the sexual experience you are with.”
*Sonny – “Yes. Women who watch it tend to take more initiative in my experience.”
*Jim – “I watch porn to masturbate and my wife will occasionally watch porn to do the same. I think women who watch it are better in bed.”
*Michael – “I do not watch porn. Thinking back, I think there have been a couple of women who have watched it and the experience with them was better. She was just more in tune and comfortable with what she was doing. Can you attribute that to porn? I don’t know.”
*Lachlan – “I try to avoid it because it’s so far from reality but being 100% honest, I do watch from time to time.  Sex is different with a woman who watches it.”
*James – “I do and have watched it with partners. For those times we have watched, she was a little further ahead in the foreplay and just ready to go.”
*Harry – “Yes, I watch porn pretty much every day.  This girl I went out with for a few months would love to act out a scene in a porn film and that really turned the both of on.”
*Dean – “All the girls who I’ve had my best experiences with have watched porn. It can be easier to explore and suggest certain things without the fear of shocking her. I’ve watched a tonne of porn – mainly amateur couples or solo women. Not the professional stuff.”

7. Do you enjoy performing oral sex on a woman?
*Dean – 
“Love it. Pushing her legs back and then devouring. Preferably shaved, but it doesn’t matter.”
*Harry – “Yes.”
*James – “Yes. I don’t understand those “men” that don’t. Having a woman encourage, squirm and dig deeper for me is such a turn on.”
*Lachlan – “I really do. I find it extremely intimate and for the most part, makes sex better overall.”
*Michael – “I do. For me, its the touch aspect. Making that connection and giving her pleasure.”
*Jim – “I love performing oral on my wife and do it 99% of the time during foreplay.”
*Sonny – “Does a bear shit in the woods? I love it when a woman sits on my face. That gets me amped up and really ready.”
*Ryan – “Absolutely. The reaction you get knowing you’re building towards something big.”
*Jack – “I absolutely LOVE going down on women. I derive a lot of my pleasure from the woman enjoying sexual experiences. It’s important to me a woman orgasms and for some women, this is one of the only ways they can.”
*John – “Yes. very much so.”
*Jaryd – “Absolutely.”
*Anthony – “As stated previously (Question 2), I fucking love it.”
*Daddy – “I personally love giving a woman oral sex. I sometimes enjoy it more than having sex.”

*Insert tongue emoji.*

8. Do you enjoy it when a woman takes the lead or do you prefer to be the one who’s more dominant in bed?
*Daddy – 
“I like a bit of both. I’ve always felt if guys are too full on to a woman it could be intimidating so I try and read the situation and play it from there as I don’t want to be known as a controlling man who knows one way.”
*Anthony – “Both.”
*Jaryd – “Both.”
*John – “Both for sure. I like taking control. But it’s also nice once in a while to come home to a woman who has been thinking about you all day and just wants to have her way with you.”
*Jack – “I think you have to be versatile. Variety is the spice of life. Things should ebb and flow.”
*Ryan – “I’m happy in both roles.”
*Sonny – “A bit of both but I don’t think I’ve been with a dominant woman in bed, I tend to take control. I tend to take over.”
*Jim – “Both but I think it’s extremely sexy when she takes control.”
*Michael – “It feels good to be wanted when she takes the lead but I also want her to know that I can’t get enough of her. I want her to know she’s wanted and desired.”
*Lachlan – “I like a bit of both, most of the time I want to take the lead and be dominant. Sometimes I like a woman to show me what she wants to do to me.”
*James – “A bit of both. For me, being dominant is natural. I like to ‘feel like the man’ – who doesn’t – and have that power in bed.”
*Harry – “Yes I love when a woman takes control. From my experiences, I’ve found women prefer when a man takes control.”
*Dean – “Prefer to take control but watching a curvy girl ride my cock is unreal seeing her body in such a way.”

9. Please detail your favourite sex positions. Why have you chosen these ones?
*Dean – 
“I love any position where I can feel completely in control of her body or seeing her in such a submissive position. Face down or holding her by her throat. Doggy style is great for looking at such a beautiful, curvy ass. Holding her legs up to fuck her and seeing her face is also so hot.”
*Harry – “I think Doggy is so sexy and I love slapping a girl’s bum. Cowgirl, when she’s facing me and has a great set of boobs – absolutely love it.”
*James – “69 is a great starter. Cowgirl and reverse cowgirl. Her legs over my shoulder – for this it goes to the theme of being dominant. Being that bull again.”
*Lachlan – “Cowgirl, visually, I find amazing. From behind “doggy” (I hate using that description) because of how much deeper it feels. I find both physically and mentally feel the best.”
*Michael – “I like the closeness and intimacy of missionary. I like when she is on top. The visual and having the freedom to touch her.”
*Jim – “Reverse cowgirl and bending her over. It’s a tie between those two.”
*Sonny – “Cowgirl – I like it because I can get a girl to climax or close there. Doggy with someone who has a big butt. That’s one position that will usually get me off which is why I like it but I usually save that for last.”
*Ryan – “Girl on top and doggy. There is something empowering about being in these positions and seeing the female reaching orgasm. Watching their body shake.”
*Jack – “Standard missionary is a classic for a reason, I love the connection that it brings. I’m honestly not a huge fan of ones where you can’t look them in the eye, it feels so disconnected. Doggy and reverse cowgirl feel good, no doubt, but I prefer my sex to mean something.”
*John – “Doggy, reverse/cowgirl. Both positions give a woman to control things while you get a beautiful view. The next two do it for me mentally. Throwing her legs over your shoulders or picking her up. They are very sexually gratifying.”
*Jaryd – “Doggy, cowgirl, missionary. I like missionary and cowgirl because you’re looking at each other during.”
*Anthony – “Doggy/Reverse cowgirl. Same position really, just different elevations. She says it gets deeper and harder that way.”
*Daddy – “I can honestly say I don’t have a preferred sex position. I like to try and make every time different becasue if all you do is the same position, it feels like everytime you have sex its the same. I like to mix it up. But I do like being on top with a girl’s legs over my shoulders. I can see her face as I slide in deeper and see every second she’s enjoying it then I can lean over and kiss her.” **Can you hear that? Sounds like angels singing.

cowgirl-hat-dog-costume-with-braids-7284.jpg
I see how it is, boys.

10. Could you confidently say, without a doubt, that if you met someone you thought about the long term with, you’d be happy to only ever have sex with that person for the rest of your life? i.e. is sexual monogamy still achievable?
*Daddy – 
“I think with social media everyone is always thinking there is a better offer. I’d love to say yes but me being realistic says, unfortunately, you can’t trust anyone these days to only want to sleep with one person forever.” **Sadly, I feel this way too. I don’t want to.
*Anthony – “We’re open to group activities but if I were destined for missionary vanilla sex forever, I know with my current partner, I’d be happy.”
*Jaryd – “Absolutely I could. It’s what I am searching for. I think it’s difficult but achievable.”
*John – “Without a doubt! Seems like a tough thing to achieve in this day an age, but our grandparents did it so I would like to believe that it’s still possible.”
*Jack – “Absolutely it’s achievable. Monogamy is a choice and it’s up to you to make it.”
*Ryan – “Yes. Only because I am so much of a jealous kind of guy, that I couldn’t see my partner with someone else.”
*Sonny – “Yes. I thought I was there at one point. It’s not a terrifying idea to me in the least bit but that’s where sexual chemistry comes in. You have to have great sexual chemistry.”
*Jim – “I knew I was going to marry my wife the moment I kissed her. I could go an eternity with her. She’s all I’ll ever want or need. I don’t think it’s for everyone, but it is for us.”
*Michael – “For me, yes.  Learning your partner’s needs and teaching them yours is so important and as you go through life, those change and that’s part of how the relationship grows. It takes both of you.” **Really, Michael should an expert on MAFS. 
*Lachlan – “Yes, 100% confident. I’ve never considered cheating.”
*James – “Absolutely and I’ve already signed up for this! Married.”
*Harry – “Yes. 100%”
*Dean – “I think so, easily.” *Did NOT expect that from Dean. Is it hot in here?

 

 

Category 3 – Communication

 

3tzspr
I know you’re all here for answers on sex and relationships, but I’m just here for the memes.

 

1. If you met someone you like, do you prefer to call or text them?
*Daddy – 
“Calling is preferred, but I am a busy person so texting is convenient for my life.”
*Anthony – “Both? Depends on the conversation.”
*Jaryd – “I prefer to talk.”
*John – “I’m a texter for sure. I talk on the phone all day in the office so I hate it.”
*Jack – “Call! Texting feels so lifeless and it can be interpreted in so many wrong ways. Calling you actually get to hear their tone of voice.”
*Ryan – “Initially I like to text but then I move into calling.”
*Sonny – “I prefer texting because it gives me more time to articulate my thoughts and keeps the conversation lasting. Also, if I have time to talk on the phone then I’d rather talk face to face.”
*Jim – “I can be nervous and socially awkward, so I’d text. Even though I know calling is a better decision.”
*Michael – “Having a teenager, I’m used to texting. But I like the phone call though.”
*Lachlan – “I am an old soul. I don’t mind texting when necessary, but at the end of the day a phone call and hearing her voice is much more real.”
*James – “If you need to fill up a phone screen that is just general conversation, it’s too much. Just call.”
*Harry – “Call. Makes things more real and texting can be boring at times.”
*Dean – “I don’t see an issue with texting. I don’t think you need to be on the phone constantly.”

2. How well would you say you communicate? Are you able to articulate feelings of love/frustration clearly?
*Dean – 
“I’m ok. I don’t get into rows. I can let shit go easily. I think I explain myself ok if I have to.”
*Harry – “If I like someone, I’d show them my feelings clearly and strike conversations with and get to know them.”
*James – “I’m not afraid to show love or frustration at home – nor is my wife – but you do need to know each other. I think it takes some time to sound each other out. I don’t find that we misunderstand each other.”
*Lachlan – “I’m a very expressive person, but at times I do struggle to put my words together when it comes to explaining exactly how a person has made me feel.”
*Michael – “Having dealt with a stuttering child, the ability to communicate and the confidence it takes is something I am attracted to and am envious of others. I can be a bit long-winded in an attempt to get my thoughts across.
*Jim – “My wife and I talk about everything, no matter how much it sucks. You’re going to misunderstand each other, but you need to be able to move past that and explain what you heard them say and how it made you feel. In turn, give them to explain what they really meant.”
*Sonny – “I think I am able to be clear but when I can keep my frustrations to myself until I can communicate in a better way. I realise there is a sense of immaturity to that thought and I realise that is another thing I need to work on.”
*Ryan – “I wear my heart on my sleeve. I have always been an open book and feel like nothing should be hidden.”
*Jack – “I think I am really good at communicating positive feelings, but expressing frustration is where I struggle. I’m not a person who likes to conflict so sometimes I tend to bottle things up.”
*John – “I think I am a great communicator, in the office, but in relationships, I do find myself being misunderstood.”
*Jaryd – “I’ve been told I am a great communicator but I think I struggle early on because, in today’s dating world, people aren’t as trusting.”
*Anthony – “Better than I used to be but I could still use some work.”
*Daddy – “I am an old school bloke who doesn’t like talking about stuff. I like dealing with it on my own. I’ve always been like this.”

3. Are you turned off by a woman who sends long messages when she has a lot to say?
*Daddy – 
“Not at all.”
*Anthony – “Nope, I can’t always be the one to carry a conversation!”
*Jaryd – “Not at all, as long as it’s not rambling about nothing.”
*John – “I love when a woman who sends long texts. I want to hear her thoughts and I’m interested in what she has to say.”
*Jack – “Not at all. I hate guesswork. I’d much prefer to know what you’re thinking and talk things out.”
*Ryan – “No. I feel like guys need to understand how women are feeling. If that’s a long text about any subject, it doesn’t phase me.” 
*Sonny – 
“The opposite. I enjoy the actual conversation. How can you get to know someone if they only respond in a few words? I am lengthy in my conversation.”
*Jim – “That wouldn’t bother me at all. She might just have a lot to say and needs someone to listen. (That’s your job, guys!)” **Someone send military Jim around to my ex-boyfriend’s house. He always made me feel like shit when I talked a lot. Asshole LOL.

4. If a woman has something she needs to get off her chest, would you prefer she called or text?
*Dean – 
“Text me but if its urgent, ring. Whatever suits her.”
*Harry – “I would rather her call. Texting would be a bit lame.”
*James – “So that’s the exception. Text if it is going to be difficult. Even if it’s just an ice breaker. ‘We need to talk about X.’ Set them up for a deep conversation.”
*Lachlan – “Depending on how serious the problem is. Either way, I would listen but through the phone, I could understand her emotions a lot better.”
*Michael – “I would want her to be comfortable, but I would prefer a call.”
*Jim – “Whichever makes her more comfortable to convey her feelings. Her feelings are still valid no matter if she’s talking or texting.” ** We Stan.
*Sonny – “I would prefer we said it face to face. A call would be better so nothing is left to interpretation.”
*Ryan – “With a phone call, I can understand more of how their feeling. I had a previous partner who would text a lot and I got in trouble for taking messages the wrong way.”
*Jack – “Call me. Or better yet, meet up with me.”
*John – “I would prefer in person. Too many things can go wrong with a text or even a call.”
*Jaryd – “Tricky. Sometimes women would prefer not to talk and would rather text. I’d prefer to talk.”
*Anthony – “Call. Or face to face.”
*Daddy – “In person but honestly if I had to choose, call. The tone of someone’s voice can completely change the context.”

5. Do you think your parents helped/hindered your ability to be a good partner? How so?
*Daddy – 
“I think you obviously watch your parents relationship and when you’re old enough to realise, that’s when you start seeing whether it was good or bad. You use that to then make the right choices but I think sometimes, without realising, you mimic them.”
*Anthony – “My father travelled a lot and wasn’t home many times because of work. Their communication was key. Trust was key. I’d say it formed my opinion a lot.”
*Jaryd – “I think it helped, but you shouldn’t compare. Times are completely different.”
*John – “I think they helped. They split when I was 16, so I’d like to think I learned from their mistakes.”
*Jack – “Both. I am very fortunate to come from a family where no one is divorced and that may give me some unrealistic expectations on love, especially being the only unmarried man in the family.”
*Ryan – “My Dad has been an excellent role model in regard to how to treat women properly. I have always treated women with the most respect and understanding. I mean, girls run the world, don’t they?” **Yes, we do.
*Sonny – “I think they absolutely help. Growing up, I realised exactly what I didn’t want. I refuse to handle things the way I saw. I will learn from their mistakes. I think it has given me the ability to be a better partner because I saw how toxic it was.”
*Jim – “I think my parents were an amazing example of how a marriage should be. My wife tells me a lot about how thankful she is for them. Mutually supportive, open and honest.”
*Michael – “They shaped and defined what family and relationships were but I never was close to either of my parents. Our relationships were never very deep.”
*Lachlan – “I have. For example, even though my parents are still together after 40 years, my father was never very affectionate with my mother. I saw that and went the complete opposite way as I got older.”
*James – “Definitely helped. Solid marriage. No black sheep, skeletons or ‘we dont talk about them.'”
*Harry – “Definitely. My parents have been married for 30 years. In regards to respect, honesty and caring for a woman, it’s definitely helped.”
*Dean – “Thankfully my parents have a good marriage. No domestic issues of any kind. I don’t know if that has affected me though.” **This guy needs 60minutes I swear. WHO ARE YOU?

6. It’s no secret women are very verbal creatures and require a lot of reassurance. Do you think it’s gotten worse in our generation?
*Dean – 
“I think the media have put pressure on women to look a certain way. Women shouldn’t focus on Instagram, I think it fucks with their heads and brings out insecurities. I much prefer a natural look anyway.”
*Harry – “I believe it has gotten worse. They see what these women are doing on social media and the Instagram boyfriends/husbands buying them expensive jewellery etc. Nothing wrong with wanting to be treated like a princess but you have to look at the circumstances of your relationship and theirs.”
*James – “I disagree its got worse.”
*Lachlan – “In my opinion, women overall are more critical thinkers. They also need to hear things. Rather than us med doing a. lot of assuming when it comes to how she feels.”
*Michael – “The perceived value of being beautiful and the social currency that seems to go along with that can be consuming. The need to be validated by the attention of men.”
*Jim – “I would argue that anyone who has been in a negative, manipulative or abusive relationship might require verbal assurance frequently. I was and do. I think we all harbour insecurities and turn to the ones we love the most to reassure us.”
*Sonny – “It is insecurities. It is caused by a society of magazines and plastic surgery and social media with perfectly angled photos. Media has taken vanity to the next level. For that reason, it has gotten worse. It’s not just women though, men struggle too.”
*Ryan – “You do see in younger people, the generation of social media, everyone is very ‘look at me, look at me.’ Looking for that reassurance through likes and comments isn’t great… you’re looking for satisfaction through other people’s eyes.”
*Jack – “In my experience, women are fiercely independent and haven’t seemed to need reassurance and have gotten annoyed when I offer it. It’s a delicate tightrope to walk, knowing when to be reassuring and knowing when to just leave things alone.”
*John – “Not sure if it’s gotten worse. I think women are very verbal and just require a lot of reassurance. I think women tend to think about things more than men do. I do know reminding her how I feel can go a long way.”
*Jaryd – “I think it’s gotten worse because of the social media disconnect from live interactions.”
*Anthony – “I think men want reassurance but the stigma of ‘manliness’ takes that away from us. I think the barrage of ‘perfect couples’ on social media makes it seem like there is that perfect relationship but we’re never seeing the ugly side of those couples.”
*Daddy – “I think girls are so insecure now because they constantly compare themselves when instead, they should just be thankful for what they have.”

 

7. Have you ever called a woman “crazy?” Why do you think men throw this term around to demonise women who verbalise their dissatisfaction in a relationship?
*Daddy – 
“I think it’s an easy thing for a guy to say because half the time he isn’t listening or is actually in the wrong but can’t accept the fact she’s right. So he puts it in her head she’s crazy and it’s all her fault.” **Daddy is invited to every girls night with cocktails and cheese and we sit around obsessing over his tattoos, asking for his advice and telling him how much we love him. Bravo sir.
*Anthony – “Yes, a couple times. But I genuinely think the two times I did, they were crazy. I do think it is a term men throw around to deflect the deficiencies in the relationship.”
*Jaryd – “I’m not the kind of man who feels the need to demonise women. I just move on.”
*John – “I don’t think I’ve ever called a woman crazy to upset her. But I will call you out for being crazy if you go too far.”
*Jack – “I try not to use that term too much. I think it denigrates people who struggle with mental illness, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t said it before. I think some men struggle with words so it’s easy to use a blanket term because it absolves them of any guilt in the situation and instead places all the blame on her.” **Ladies, READ THAT SHIT AGAIN. We Stan.
*Ryan – “No I haven’t. The term itself is thrown around a bit and I don’t understand why guys use it.”
*Sonny – “Nope. Behind every ‘crazy’ woman is usually a reason why she’s crazy.”
*Jim – “I have called women crazy but that’s only because they were. It’s not a fair term to throw around to mask your own failings. Men typically call women crazy to avoid recognising and correcting their own shitty behaviour.” **Are we seeing a pattern here, ladies?
*Michael – “No… I know better.”
*James – “No I haven’t and have called out mates for just that.”
*Harry – “No. I think they throw that out there when they know they have done wrong and can’t admit it.”
*Dean – “I like a certain kind of crazy but calling her crazy is something I never do.”

 

when-someone-psycho-meme
I’ll show you crazy!

8. Do you think it’s hard for women to trust men? And Vice Versa? Why?
*Dean – “It is hard for women to trust men because men cheat more. Not all men but a lot. Men who are concerned about women cheating are usually controlling freaks who have nothing to worry about in the first place.”
*Harry – “Going back to Q6 about generations, I think it swings both ways. Snapchat, Instagram and money all play a big factor.”
*James – “I disagree, I think people of both sexes are too sensitive. They need to be confident and then they can trust their partner.” 
*
Lachlan – “Yes I do, but not as hard as it is for us to trust women. I think men are more naive when it comes to seeing the red flags. Also, men have the worst intentions with women.” **Interesting turnaround.
*Michael – “I think for either sex, believing and accepting that we are actually enough for someone is difficult. The thought someone else might catch their eye or we don’t measure up. It seems trusting others comes from trusting ourselves.” **Why am I lying on this couch? Why do you have a clipboard?
*Jim – “I think its equally hard. It’s so hard to build and so easy to destroy. And one person can ruin your ability to trust so easily.”
*Sonny – “I think it’s hard for everyone. Women cheat just as much. People are scared to be hurt and feel pain, sometimes those walls just never come down.”
*Ryan – “For sure it’s hard for women! Two former teammates of mine cheated on their partners and surprise, they’re single now.”
*Jack – “As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed we are the sum of our hurts and this causes trust issues. Idealism and the romanticism of the ‘idea’ of love have caused perfect to become the enemy of the good in relationships. We see so many failures that it causes people to completely abandon the idea of love altogether. It’s sad but the idealist in me keeps pressing regardless.
*John – “Both. I blame our surroundings. People are dishonest every day.”
*Jaryd – “Walls and past disappointment are the main reasons for lack of trust.”
*Anthony – “Yes. Pop culture has made it almost heroic to have your girl and a side chick. Your man and your sugar daddy. I don’t know why.”
*Daddy – “I’d honestly say guys and girls are the same. It’s so easy to be tempted, like a photo and send a DM.”

9. What role do you think social media plays in relationships? Have you ever had a discussion about boundaries and what you deem disrespectful online behaviour?
*Daddy – 
“Social media honestly ruins relationships, full stop.” **Agree.
*Anthony – “It’s easy to see people blatantly cheating on their S/O, sending dirty messages, flirting, whatever else.”
*Jaryd – “I think it plays too much of a role. I try to avoid FB as much as possible and I have a rule to never DM women. I only broke that rule to do this survey.” **Yeah get out of my DMs Jaryd! LOL.
*John – “I think it’s dangerous. Straight up seeking attention from others, giving attention is playing with fire.
*Jack – “It’s not healthy. I loathe Instagram with a passion. I’ve had to turn off the activity status feature because it hits me right in my insecurities when I see a partner not responding to me, but active on Instagram.” **Literally just blocked a guy I was talking to for this exact reason. Billy, if you’re reading this. Fuck you.
*Ryan – “A lot of people tend to put up the good that is happening and paint a rosy picture. I have always been open with partners about social media, I have nothing to hide.”
*Sonny – “Social media is the biggest cancer. You see so many people posting about how amazing their partner is and typically that’s a sign of an unhealthy relationship. I’ve never had the conversation but I think it’s also partially common sense and a bit of wisdom and maturity as well.”
*Jim – “Social media has made it easier to create, strengthen and maintain relationships. You have to set boundaries for acceptable behaviour.”
*Michael – “I’ve not had a relationship in this online era, but I would want it to be a point of conversation.”
*Lachlan – “I have not experienced it myself, but I have seen how social media can lead to a fantasy world for relationships that don’t exist. The way people interact online is different than in person.”
*James – “Snapchat may lead to some crises of faith – the taboo of the disappearing message.”
*Harry – “Never really talked about it. We had a good understanding of each other and got on with it.”
*Dean – “If I get into a relationship again, I’m coming off social media.”

10. It’s no secret men are very visual creatures. Has a partner ever expressed her feelings about you “liking” a photo? What photos do you find visually appealing?
*Dean –
 “Never. I’ve never had Instagram or Facebook long term.”
*Harry – “Never liked a strangers photo. Did like one picture of my mate’s girlfriend and my ex was like ‘do you want to explain?’ She cooled off after a while.”
*James – “No. What I find appealing is a real photo though. Not something unrealistic.”
*Lachlan – “My ex had an Instagram account that I avoided visiting. I trusted her and that was never an issue. I avoid liking certain pictures to keep myself out of trouble.”
*Michael – “This one doesn’t really apply to me but I think your boundaries come with your history. I think it goes back to the needs of your partner.”
*Jim – “My wife has never made a comment like that but I’ve had previous relationships where that has been brought up. Some people are just more jealous than others and it’s something the two of you should talk about. I wouldn’t like a photo that I knew might upset my wife’s feelings or make her feel insecure.”
*Ryan – “Its a two-way street I think. Girls enjoy looking at the opposite sex just as much.”
*Jack – “I had an argument with a girlfriend once over liking a photo. I knew it bothered her so I stopped out of respect for her. Every guy likes a skimpy photo but I don’t like them because I don’t want to be seen as a creep. If a picture is of you in an experience that makes you happy I think that deserves a like.”
*John – “I don’t mess with IG so never had the issue of liking a photo. Seems like a creepy thing to do.”
*Jaryd – “I have my own rules of engagement. I have seen others have issues. Guess I live differently than most.”
*Sonny  – “If I’m in a relationship, I typically try not to like photos of girls in bikinis etc. causes more issues than it’s worth.”
*Anthony  – “My ex-wife did. Even if it was a mutual friend. I’ll like vacation photos, family shots, celebrations etc.”
*Daddy – “I personally don’t like photos for the sake of it when it comes to girls. I don’t see the point in liking an Instagram models photos because it’s not like she’s going to be like ‘Oh look, this guy liked my photo, I’m going to message him.’”

 

There we have it! Men tell all. I hope they answered everything you wanted to know. Big thanks to my gorgeous men for doing this. You’re all superstars and I love each of you. Leave comments or hit up IG to discuss! Lots to talk about…

Love,

 

Sara.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1 thought on “Men Tell All.”

  1. I definitely think it would be an interesting idea to do the same, roles reversed. Let the men ask the questions for the women to answer. A sequel… Women speak louder than words… 🤔

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s