Two best friends, a few too many beers and the truth!
After the “Men Tell All” post, many requested a Q & A with a female perspective! So I opened up my Instagram and Twitter to all the guys and gals following me and picked 25 of your questions! Some of them were interesting, some of them were just highly requested. I enlisted the help of my best friend McKenzee and after few too many Asahi’s were drank, we broke down what you cheeky little fuckers wanted to know most! So without further ado, let’s dive in!
- What are some of the best Tinder chat up lines and bios you’ve seen?
Sara: This one guy who was in a wheelchair, his bio said “Just a stand-up guy” and it’s awful I know, but I CRIED laughing! I swiped right because I really appreciate that sort of dark humour. As far as an opening chat-up line goes, the “didn’t see you in the list of Spotify’s Hottest Singles” is one I see a lot. Not original but always makes me giggle.
Mckenzee: See, I’ve had some really bad ones. One message was something about a smashed avocado, I can’t remember it exactly, but it really upset me! For pick up lines, I’m usually the first one to send a message. My personal favourite is “Let’s play barbies, you be Ken and I’ll be the box you come in!”
Sara: That is atrocious!
Mckenzee: You fucking love it.
- What is your wildest sex story? You said we could ask ANYTHING!
Mckenzee: *Takes a deep breath* Ok, I was out at the Ox, freshly 18, going out with my friends, one of my first-ever times I had gone out. There was a football comp on that weekend with people from Sydney. A really attractive bloke walked up to me and asked me if I wanted to dance. Now we don’t get that in our hometown, so I asked him “Where are you from?” He said he was originally from New Zealand but was living in Sydney to play football (Rugby League.) So we go dancing and he is the BEST dancer I’ve ever seen. This was some Magic Mike level shit. He ended up leading me off the dance floor and we started making out on the lounge. Fast forward, he needs a lift to his hotel but can’t remember where it was. I was actually sober AF, so I told him I’d drop my friends home and then take him to his hotel. I go home, get ‘prepared’ and then go to meet him. Get to his hotel room and his teammate is also in the room. So I cuddle up on the single bed with old mate, he starts getting frisky, when his teammate wakes up and starts watching wanting to join in. I didn’t want to do a threesome but before I knew it, here we were the three of us going at it. Next minute, another teammate from next door came bursting in like “I brought a girl home and I can’t get it up! I can’t get it up!” So I told him to either get it up or send his lady home or she’s going to be in for a bad night. He ended up staying and watching for a bit and then left. So we had a threesome, fell asleep and the next morning, his whole team walked in the room! So I left to go have a shower, Magic Mike came with me. He was really nice and sweet about the whole thing, so naturally, I’m sucking his dick in the shower when his Coach walks into the bathroom and sees us and tells me I’m a ‘Little hottie.’ Needless to say the walk out of there was shameful and the whole thing was a disaster.
Sara: This is still the best thing I’ve ever heard, I laugh so hard every time I hear it! I can’t compete with that though. My wildest sex story is that I was in Nashville, met a hot drummer who owns a studio and plays for a famous Country Singer in a bar in Five Points, went back to his house in East Nashville and wouldn’t have sex with him because I just got my period! I ended up just laying next to him all night, not being able to sleep, while this hot musician is passed out next to me! So embarrassing!
Mckenzee: The sharpest swords always end up with blood on them!
- What’s your favourite BJJ Submission?
Sara: For those who don’t know, BJJ is Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I can already hear my Coach laughing. He’d tell you the same thing – “Any form of choke!” Because I feel like a choke is the most absolute, violent way to submit someone.
Mckenzee: Look I feel like any Jiu-Jitsu position is just sex without penetration!
- What is truly better for women? Oral or Intercourse? I’ve heard stories, but would love your opinion?
Sara: I feel like one is very sexual and hot and the other is more romantically intimate. It really depends on the woman. For some women, clitoral stimulation is the only way they can orgasm. For others, they can achieve vaginal orgasms as well. For me personally, if a guy is giving me oral its a very sexy, ‘fuck me’ kind of feeling. It’s intimate yes, but it’s not romantic. Intercourse while still effective in achieving orgasm, is more about being close to my partner. For me, both are essential in a healthy sexual relationship. That’s the best way I can distinguish the two, but because I can achieve orgasm both ways, not one is superior to the other.
Mckenzee: That’s a hard question because they are completely different. It depends on the individual. In my personal experience, there’s a difference between cumming and orgasming. I am a big-time squirter. If I am receiving intercourse, vaginally, and he’s hitting it right, I will squirt everywhere. But if I am masturbating myself, I will get the sensation of an orgasm but I won’t squirt. Oral doesn’t do much for me, it’s kind of awkward. It feels intimate because they’re in such a sensitive area, but I don’t feel turned on nor will I reach an orgasm by someone giving me oral. Fingers need to be involved, if that’s the direction they want to go, I’m someone who needs penetration.
Sara: That is so bizarre! Oral is amazing!
Mckenzee: I know! But I don’t like it!
- How do you recommend making new friends? I feel like I only have a few I can rely on.
Mckenzee: My whole issue with this is that I have two best friends. Two. Sara and Amy. I would tell them everything and be by their side. So why do you need more friends? You can also have acquaintances, casual friends to have a drink with, colleagues you get along with at work. I don’t appreciate this notion that you need this clique of more and more friends, to be happy. It’s not needed. My question to you is, are you lonely? Do you not have quality friends that are there for you? Is it a matter of having better friends rather than more of them?
Sara: I wholeheartedly agree with Mckenzee on this one. Quality over quantity. I have ONE best friend. Mckenzee. She is the only person I can tell absolutely everything and anything too. In the past year, I’ve had three people who I thought would never leave, walk out of my life. One guy who has been my rock and safe space since I was 21, is now a complete stranger to me because he got a girlfriend. One girl who I felt like was my sister ended our friendship because she can’t stand the fact I find happiness and seek to explore things outside of her small town bubble. One friendship with someone I’d go to ends of the earth for is hanging by a thread because the only time she and I connect or do anything together is when I reach out to her and make the effort. It’s very rarely reciprocated. I have my mates at work I have drinks with often and the boys at my gym are always good for a laugh and I see them almost every day. So I’m surrounded by people I love and have fun with but as far as friends go… I got my gal who is my number 1. What more do you need?
- What qualities do you look for in a man and what makes you attracted to them?
Mckenzee: I’m more attracted to older people. Age is important to me. It’s weird I know, but I find some of my Dad’s friends attractive. I’m a big flirt, and with my job, I entertain an older crowd and so I have learned over the years I get on well with that age range. Banter is essential and having a very sarcastic humour is appreciated. A man who knows when to be a goof and knows when to be serious and is approachable and understanding. I need someone I can feel completely myself with. I need someone to always believe in what I’m saying and trust me. I need affection all the time, I need to be shown rather than told.
Sara: Straight off the bat, it’s very important to me the man I’m with has a very apparent, yet quiet strength about him. What I mean by that is, he’s not this alpha dog constantly barking, but still exudes very masculine energy that isn’t in your face or an overcompensation. I find it incredibly sexy when someone has a very commanding presence without having to speak. I talk about this all the time in my blogs, I know when a guy just has it. I absolutely need someone who puts me first. I need a man who can protect my heart and handle the responsibility of having it. Someone who can wake up every day and make the choice to love me and be all in and do the little things each day that add to the strong foundation of who we are as a team. I need someone who is loyal, transparent and proactive. Someone who can say “Honey I have to tell you what just happened” instead of “oh you heard about that? Well, let me explain…”
Mckenzee: Absolutely agree with the part about having the responsibility of being a partner and the part about being proactive. What it all boils down to is respect.
Sara: We both agree too that we have no physical preferences, its more about the individual. Gone are the days we drool over guys with muscles. It’s not all that.
- Is it ever OK to take back a partner who cheats?
Mckenzee: First of all, it’s circumstantial. As someone who has taken back a partner who has cheated, the only person who can determine if it’s ok is you. You need to be able to justify it to yourself so you can sleep at night.
Sara: Mckenzee and I butt heads over this a lot.Short answer, no. But it’s not up to me to determine that for everybody. You have to be able to live with the decisions you make and the time you either waste with them or spend rebuilding together. Hypothetically, if I had a big fight with a man I’m in a relationship with and he went out and got drunk and kissed a girl, I, of course, would be ropable. But if he came home immediately, sick to his stomach about what he had done and was proactive in telling me and he was eager to get to the bottom of why he let this occur, then that I could forgive. However, sex is absolutely a choice to betray your partner. Repeatedly cheating and lying to your partner and waiting for them to find out, only for you to then play the “baby please forgive me” routine is sick and absolutely unforgivable.
- I’ve always wanted to ask you this… WHY are UK guys so your type? Do you not like Australian men?
Sara: Short answer? No, I am off Australian men. Of course, this will be a generalisation and yes I realise there are some beautiful Australian men out there. However, I feel like as a culture, our men and how we raise them is disgusting. I think Australian male’s treatment of women is appalling. I think I’m most attracted to British and Irish men because of their accents! It’s so attractive. But I also find they have a much better chat. Australian men are pretty boring. And while yes they have their bad eggs over there too, they generally treat women with a lot more respect than we do.
Mckenzee: I can’t really comment, I’ve never been with a British guy.
- Would you ever get back with an ex?
Mckenzee: Depending on the circumstances and how it ended… yes.
Sara: I think exes are exes for a reason. It either ended because you couldn’t resolve the issue or you didn’t care enough to try and resolve the issue and decided breaking up was just easier. Both are fundamentally huge hurdles you’ll only have to deal with again when you get back together. But if two people want it enough to try again, then it can work. I wouldn’t get back with any of my exes, but that’s not to say I wouldn’t get back with an ex, hypothetically.
- Do you think you’ll ever see Frank again? What do you think will happen?
Sara: I don’t think so. If we were to meet up again, it’ll be because Frank made the decision to reach out to me and wanted to see me. The ball is in his court, he knows how to get a hold of me. What do I think will happen? One of two things. I’ll either be fine and not feel anything. The longer he leaves it, the more over him I get and my love for him diminishes greater and greater with each passing day. As I go on new dates I see bits and pieces I loved about him in other people and I get back to realising there isn’t one fish in the sea. Or, I’ll be completely breathless standing in front of him, wishing it worked out better. Can’t say how I’ll feel until I’m ever in that situation. But knowing Frank, he’s no good at conflict resolution or accepting responsibility so I don’t see him reaching out to me ever.
Mckenzee: Not knowing Frank myself, I can’t say. But I’d like to kick him in the dick.
- Do you do any kind of training outside of Jiu-Jitsu/Muay Thai etc?
Mckenzee: I don’t do BJJ or Muay Thai. I work, smoke and drink too much and never wake up when Sara tells me to for our morning walks. I always intend to go to the gym but I never do. Scrolling through my Instagram is my workout. I watch other girls go to the gym, does that count?
Sara: LOL! That’s hysterical. I box or do jiu-jitsu almost daily. However, I recently committed myself to an intense weights program, 2-3 days a week outside of training. Not for aesthetics, but hoping to pack on some muscle strictly for sports performance. Anything I can do to be a better jiu-jitsu player and eliminate someone’s ability to overpower me with strength rather than technique.
- What is your ideal first date?
Mckenzee: Go for a beer and then something fun and light-hearted. Mini Putt or bowling.
Sara: I agree. I think, personally, dinner is too much for a first date. You’re sitting there awkwardly trying to be fancy. The movie is also a horrible choice, its silence and by the end of the date, I’ve learned nothing about you other than you have shit taste in films. It needs to be easy, fun and no pressure. If it goes well, great. Have dinner. If it doesn’t, high five each other and you’ve only lost a tenner.
- I got married a year ago and I feel like it was a mistake. What should I do?
Mckenzee: My first question would be why do you feel like its a mistake? Then my second question would be do you even want to make it work? If the answer to that is yes, you need to have a serious conversation with your husband. Are they issues you can resolve? If so, make a commitment for you both to work on them. If he or you are not 100% in, leave. I also don’t believe you marry someone ‘just because’ there obviously was a time you were very much in love with him, so ask yourself what has changed.
Sara: I’m with Mckenzee here. I would have straight up just said leave. But she has put it in better words than I could have. You have to ask yourself ‘Why?’ and ‘Do I want to?’ If you do, and he’s willing to listen and fix things, stay married. But anything short of that, then you both deserve better.
- Do you wish you had a boyfriend?
Sara: I created the single pringle bandwagon, with Lizzo blasting from the speakers as I drove it through the Queendom of bad bitches. However, I do find myself wishing I had someone around to come home to. I have thoroughly enjoyed being single for the last few years and will happily continue being single until the right man comes along. But I feel like after recent events and having just had a taste of what having a loving man felt like, I do catch myself wanting that more and more. Frank rocked my happily single boat and it’s made me miss what having a partner feels like. I do get hopeful the real thing is around the corner. Until then… she’s all G.
Mckenzee: I agree with Sara. Having someone there for you is just so comforting. Having the male equivalent of my best friends. Having someone to go to sleep beside and not being alone is not to be underestimated.
- If you were on Death Row, what would your last meal be?
Mckenzee: I would request a kitchen to be available to me so I can cook my last meals. I’d want a Pork roast with the best crackling ever and all the trimmings!
Sara: Sounds good! But fuck making that shit on death row! I’d order Tuna Tataki, followed by Salmon Sashimi. Then I’d have buffalo wings with ranch sauce and sweet potato fries. Then a double cheeseburger. FATTY.
- Can you share what are your relationship deal breakers?
Sara: Number 1 – lack of respect. Don’t you EVER make me look like a mug. Lack of affection and attention also are signs of a greater problem that I will not put up with if you can’t spill your issue and be eager to resolve it. The second I feel like anyone can no longer handle being a contributing and loving partner, I’ll bail.
Mckenzee: It’s a deal-breaker if they don’t get along with my family. If they don’t drink, that’d hurt me, I’m a borderline alcoholic. Also, I agree with a lack of affection and sex. I need sex all the time.
Sara: Absolutely! The sex thing and having someone who matches your sex drive is ESSENTIAL.
- What do you think your biggest flaw is that affects your ability to be in a relationship?
Mckenzee: My depression and anxiety. It blankets everything else. I overthink too much, it results in trust issues, I make up scenarios that aren’t actually happening and I am so afraid of people seeing that I am affected by mental illness. I shut down and I can’t explain what’s wrong with me.
Sara: I am very guarded. I have an exceptionally tough armour that I wear all the time and I think the man who is interested in pursuing me needs to be patient and take a great deal of care when trying to break through that. This is why I need someone who is tough and can hold his own, but underneath that layer is patient and kind with a loving heart.
- What is your opinion on marriage and kids? Do you want that? When?
Sara: I am on the fence about both marriage and kids. I grew up in the same society you all did that conditioned us to believe that being successful meant getting married and having a child. I was that little girl who wanted the big wedding, husband and kids. Now, I feel like if I did get married 1) it’ll be because I actually found the man I am looking for. He is all in forever and can show me that every day and 2) I’d elope. Get married at sunset in Bali. No big show. No crap. Just us making our vows. As for children, I would only adopt. And we would only adopt if the man I chose to spend my life with, I felt would also make an amazing father. I won’t be raising a child if he’s as unsure as I am about his ability to be responsible for another human being and guide them through life, making the kind of huge sacrifices parents need to make.
Mckenzee: Kids, I want yesterday. I love kids and I want a big family. Kids make me so happy. However, marriage I am on the fence about. It’s not the commitment to another I have an issue with, it’s that I feel as though marriage just isn’t necessary anymore.
- Do you think you’ve already met the man you will spend the rest of your life with?
Sara: When I met Frank, I thought Yes. Now? No.
Mckenzee: The most recent man I was in love with, I thought I would be with forever. Now I am not so sure.
- Why do women think that all we want is sex? It’s not all we want…
Sara: I think it comes from the fact that men, generally, do actually think about and crave sex more often than women. That’s not the same for all men and women though. There are women with high sex drives too and men with low sex drives. What I think it all stems from is while women fall in love with words and romantic gestures and affection, men fall in love visually and physically. The need to be able to see and touch and make a sexual connection to what they love and protect. Women need to feel loved and protected. If that makes sense.
Mckenzee: I couldn’t say it any better. I am a very sexual person, so I could argue that men might think that’s all I want!
Sara: Same! Give it to me!
- How do I get her to want to have sex with me more?
Mckenzee: Usually its because she’s not comfortable in herself. Were you having a lot of sex previously and now you’re not? Is this abnormal behaviour? Could be because there’s something going on between the two of you that isn’t sexual. Try re-connecting on an emotional level. As we said before, women need that.
Sara: You need to get to the root of the issue: why isn’t she having sex with you or why do you feel like the number of times you are having sex isn’t enough? Ask her if she’s ok? Is she enjoying it? I think you’ll find, short of there being an actual physical issue, its an emotional disconnect and you need to find out why.
- What are the things you find most romantic?
Sara: It’s not about grand gestures, it’s all about the little things. Saying “proud of you baby.” or “You look stressed, come here” and holding me in your arms. Reaching over in the morning to turn my alarm off and waking me up with a kiss. Holding my hand. I also find someone who makes an effort to be a gentleman very romantic. Standing up when I walk into a room. Walking roadside to protect me when walking down the street. Holding the door for me. Buying me cheap supermarket flowers when you pick up some milk. Little things like that mean so much more than 2 dozen roses and diamonds… I also prefer Irises.
Mckenzee: Doing things together. I really enjoy cooking. You don’t have to be doing anything for me, but just a kiss or a cuddle while I am cooking. Affection. I just need to be touched. Public displays of affection are important to me to so that I know you’re not a different person and treat me differently around your mates or where people can see us. I need that security. The little things are so much more important.
- My boyfriend seems really distant lately. He used to be really affectionate and now he’s not. What should I do?
Mckenzee: If you turned the situation around and you were the one not being affectionate, what would be the underlying issue? Don’t automatically assume the worst just because he’s being distant. If the lack of affection is bothering you, speak up! Be gentle with him and communicate that you’re feeling unloved and immediately ask him if he’s ok. Sometimes men struggle to communicate their problems out of fear of not being able to be strong for you and not wanting to appear weak. He may just need you to initiate the affection for some time, even though it should it always be a two-way effort, and maybe coax it out of him, making him feel safe to be vulnerable.
Sara: Absolutely agree. 100%. However if after that he’s still being distant and is unable to give you what you want, you need to look out for yourself too. Don’t put up with being walked all over or having things taken out on you that aren’t your fault.
- What are your biggest turn-offs when it comes to guys?
Sara: Ego. Lose it. An Alpha Complex and deep-rooted desire to prove you’re “man enough” says more about your opinion of yourself than it does about anyone else’s opinion of you.
Mckenzee: Bodybuilder physiques. if you look like a balloon animal, I immediately think you’re a tosser. I also don’t like anyone who thinks they are tough shit or too good.
Sara: Omg yes! I like a strong man but theres a line you cross boys. This bodybuilder thing isn’t sexy.
- How do you find it so easy to talk about sex so openly?
Mckenzee: You’ve had sex haven’t you?
Sara: Because sex is fun! And we’re all doing it!
Sara & Mckenzee xo